ME TOO

I have been thinking a lot about Harvey Weinstein, how he sexually assaulted or sexually harassed all those women for all those years. The whole situation is absolutely disgusting to think about, but to think this only happens in Hollywood would be ignorant. I say that because it happened to ME TOO.

I was working events for a local radio station when I started getting text messages from one of the male sales reps. What started as friendly messages turned into words that were more aggressive. First, the rep started asking me out. When I would politely decline his invitation and tell him that I did not date my fellow colleagues, it turned into more. I received text messages that stated he did not want to “date” me but “give me multiple orgasms on a beach somewhere.” I was very uncomfortable reading that. Then I would get messages stating that the way I dressed “really turned him on.” I became very insecure in my own skin, questioning constantly if I was bringing this upon myself. Was wearing my leggings with a t-shirt asking for it? Should I change my clothes to make this stop?

Before you say, “Why didn’t you report this sort of abuse if you felt so uncomfortable?”, the short answer is: I DID, and I feel that I was fired because of reporting it. 

For some of the events my team and I were working, we had to spend the weekends together at ski lodges. One of the weekends, the team was arguing about what day to go up. My boss’s boss said I could go up a night early with the sales rep. At the time, my boss’s boss had no clue what was going on because I kept things quiet for fear of losing my job. I made a comment to my boss’s boss and told him I would be I was afraid of what would happen to me if I spent a night alone with this sales rep. Finally, the whole situation came out.

I was told numerous times that the sales rep had been talked to, but things did not stop. In fact, they got worse for me. The more I talked about the situation, the more it came out that the sales rep was speaking to the other girls in this manner. What shocked me was that these other girls were just okay with it. Again, I began to question myself. Why was I not okay with this? Am I being a drama queen for thinking this sort of behavior was not okay?

Days, then weeks went by and I was forced to work with this sales rep and pretend that things were “okay,” when deep down I knew that they were not. At some events, I would sit with my boss and we would talk about what was going on and the next steps. I would also overhear the other girls talking behind my back saying I was being way too “dramatic” about being treated as a piece of meat.

To make matters worse, one of my other managers told me I was “slandering this sales rep’s name and needed to be quiet about the situation.” When I refused to do so, I was called into the boss’s office and told, “The radio station is going in a different direction” and I “no longer fit the direction of the station.” The old “it’s not you, it’s me” line.

I was absolutely crushed. I had put up with all this abuse and then got let go from my job. I began to hate the radio industry and found myself, more often than not, drunk and crying about the matter. I thought, “Why did I say something? Is this what it is like in radio for women? To be treated like a piece of meat and then let go if you say something?” I never sued or pursued the matter further because I was young and did not want to be blacklisted from the industry.

As I began to rebuild myself and realize my self-worth, I realized all those men were in the WRONG for allowing that kind of behavior to go on. On several occasions after I was “let go,” other members of the station approached me and reassured me that what happened to me was wrong. It took a few years after that to even want to be in the radio industry again.

I can honestly say that I am still affected when it comes to certain things at work, and I definitely put my guard up when a male employee tries to belittle me. The only regret that I have is that I did not believe in myself to fight harder against this sales rep.